So, you (or the males in your life) don’t look like Thor…and it’s OKAY!

Lindsay Adler, LMFT, CEDS

There is an awesome movement going around based on body positivity and acceptance of weight at any size. You might have seen images on Instagram, listened to podcasts or read articles about women posting pictures of themselves in the style typically portrayed by underweight models. I say it is awesome, because it is amazing to see women not just accepting their bodies, but allowing others to know that they accept their bodies. Because quite frankly, as a women it can be a hard enough task to acknowledge to yourself that you love your body but to also declare this love in the face of others who might criticize your appearance, well that takes COURAGE! 

Today, I am not going to talk about this movement as it pertains to women. I am here to talk about how this movement might be getting missed (or at least less recognized) for men. Yes, males struggle with body image too. This was recently discussed in a Time magazine article (Held, M. [2017, January 5]. Why men have more body image issues than ever. Retrieved from http://time.com/4622653/men-body-image-muscle-steroids). For males, the struggle usually revolves around beliefs about needing to be lean and muscular. You know, the six-pack abs idea. They often struggle with what is called “muscle dysmorphia”, which is common in body builders who obsess about being inadequately muscular when to others they look like Arnold Schwarzenegger from the Terminator. Men will devote hours, upon hours of their day at the gym, spend excessive amounts of money on supplements, use steroids and develop disordered eating habits — all in the effort to try to reach their unrealistic goals. 

So you might be asking yourself, how do boys and men develop body image concerns? In the same way girls and women do: society and the media. Males are constantly being exposed to messages saying they need to look lean and muscular. Watching movies, playing video games, viewing magazines and watching athletes play their favorite sports, all contribute to these beliefs. One of the biggest problems for males who struggle with body image concerns, is that they often are afraid to speak up and get help for their distress. In our society there is a stigma about males speaking out about their struggles. They are taught to be “strong” and are told psychological and emotional struggles are “feminine” or “weak”. As a means to not look inadequate, these boys and men end up not expressing their concerns and thus lack healthy support. This internal suffering can lead to more serious mental health issues, such as eating disorders, depression and anxiety. 

Eating disorders among men are rising everyday. According to the statistics cited by the National Eating Disorders Association, studies show 10 million men suffer from eating disorders. Also, disordered eating behaviors are almost as common with males as with females. The males I have seen in my clinical practice who struggle with eating disorders report experiencing body dissatisfaction as a major component of their life. They often state this dissatisfaction began at an early age and sometimes from bullying. This led to their obsession with the lean muscular build (often focusing on the upper body including the chest, arms and abs) and felt inadequate when they were not this muscular build. They tried hard to get to their unrealistic goal, even if it meant starving themselves, excessively exercising and loading up on supplements. 

It is important to note, it can be normal and healthy to build strength in one’s body. However, it is best to understand the difference between unrealistic ideals—and what these ideals mean about someone’s worth—and with feeling strength in the body. We don’t need six-pack abs to feel or be strong. And having a “six-pack” does not mean you are any healthier in your body or will feel better about yourself.

We know its a problem, now what do we do? 

First, we as members of our society, need to take steps to reduce the stigmatization about males sharing concerns. It is beneficial to teach our boys there is nothing wrong with feeling and expressing emotions. It can also help to educate the men in our lives about the importance of reaching out, connecting and expressing emotions with others. We can also help males know they are not alone in their body image concerns and educate them on how society’s messages on strength, attractiveness and masculinity are not healthy or accurate. We can encourage men who are struggling with these issues to seek professional help, and express admiration for their bravery in facing these deeply personal challenges with a professional.

For fellow professionals, we are doing great advocacy regarding helping women understand they are not alone in their body dissatisfaction and facilitating education on the inaccurate portrayals of woman. Currently, though, this advocacy is not as common for men. In treatment settings, private practices and doctors offices, it would help to increase the level of understanding and sensitivity about these concerns for me. This will help to create a healing message to males about their bodies. Also…let’s add more body positive articles, websites and social media pages for males! 

And for our male role models and friendly superheroes, it can be beneficial to outwardly display what strength really means beyond one’s muscles… and ability to throw a magical hammer.

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